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Posts Tagged ‘SARPE’

Life is going decently, that is why I havent been posting here for a while. The job showed to be really nice and I must say I love it. I was also able to finish one of the difficult scenes in my screenplay and am almost done with the story (only about 145 pages of the finale, but I have them drafted already). And yes, I am still foolishly dreaming of working with Gackt on this project, lol.

As for my reconstructive surgery – well, things are not the best, but the improvement is visible, so I am not complaining much and am trying to cope with the few bad moments. I got my palatal retainer (which should work as re-expander as well and give me the few extra mm that the expander did not manage to) and seriously,getting it in was hell on earth. I was crying by pain and the doctor could not fit it in no matter what she did at first. One of my molar bands was ripped off in the process, which actually showed to be good, because she could stick the wire in and then cement the band back on my tooth.

One side of my mouth is extremely sensitive to pain and they have no idea why it is so. It looks like something must have gone wrong with the surgery. I suppose that is my luck ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Anyway, I will be posting a little more from now on. I also got a myspace account (mainly for writing and work reasons), but if you want to friend me, let me know that you got my contact from here. I usually do not accept just anybody for the sake of “having a lot of friends”.

http://www.myspace.com/ladycandar

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It’s out! After 6 months, it is out!

At the 20th March, I spent about a hour in the dentist’s chair and was getting my Hyrax out, teeth de-cemented and new bands applied on my molars. To be honest, it was not the most pleasant experience, even with 800mg of Ibalgin taken before I went to the hospital. But then, my teeth are quite extreme and I am clinical patient, so do not fear the RPE (Hyrax expander) removal just because I said it hurt in my case.

It’s really nice to have a horse bit free palate.

My teeth still hurt and my ortho says that they should not, so she did not use any more elastics on me this time, giving my teeth 6 weeks of rest with just the wire to keep them in shape. Hopefully, the palate and teeth will stop being sore, because it is really tiring lately.

Getting the half-slipped off band finally out also lets me to close my mouth a little better now and my open bite closed by about 2mm in the front. The result: TMJ got better.

Seriously, comparing my before and after pic of teeth makes me feel quite good about this all. There definitively IS an improvement, even with all the pain.

braces

braced smile

My next surgery is planned in about 6-9 months, after my teeth are lined up and prepared. It will be bimaxial with upper jaw moved forward and my lower tilted. I am looking forward to it, because the results should be quite dramatic.

As for the rest of my life: I still have no regular job, I am still quite sore and tired and I am still working hard on my screenplay, where I am getting to the finale. Seriously, I really want to have the draft done as soon as possible.

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Just a short post. I am almost 1 month post op, so here are my photos. I am still somehow swollen, my mouth seems asymetric due to the nasty openbite and gap between teeth, but I think there are some improvements already. Unfortunately, my acne came back, gah!

But the biggest improvement is… I CAN BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE WITH NO PROBLEMS, YAY!!!

Profile before

Profile after

Front view before

Front view after

Smile before

Smile after

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I was visiting my doctor today. She checked me up and we had a long talk about my close future. Obviously, she got papers from the hospital and they were really long detailed ones. We talked about the whole surgical plan and about my other 2 (actually maybe 3 :() planned surgeries.

I am currently jobless and in a way, I love it, because I do not have to hurry and overstrain myself at work, but I feel that I should be doing something for my career. There is so much I would like to archieve.

But going to an interview is not an option for me. I can not speak properly, I look horribly, not to mention I can not carry heavy things or overstrain myself. So I can not do a job I am qualified for, I can not do jobs that require manual work… and going to interviews for editor/writer position will be of no use, because honestly, noone finds a seriously lisping creature with a huge gap between her teeth and un-closable mouth a perfect colleague, lol. And then there is the pain – normally it is ok, but I am still having some bad moments. (But hey, I can at least breathe through my nose without problems! Hire me? Please? Pretty please?)

I am now on some sort of sick leave after the surgery, but my doctor told me, that I could have problems with the employment office where I am registered, if she leaves me at the sick leave too long. Honestly. Does it have any sense to take a job, if I am 100% sure I have to go to doctors every now and then? (My next visit is in 14 days, but when braced and starting the preparation for 2nd surgery, I will be there at least once a week which usually takes few hours) Not to mention I am sure I will be on sick leave again after the surgery. My health is a funny thing – I heal quite well, but I keep getting rare complications. Honestly, if I grew frog’s legs or rhino horn after my next surgery, I would not be surprised, lol.

So, my doctor things I should ask for a sort of disability pension until the surgeries are done. She says I am in such a state, that it should be possible. Honestly… I do not know. It definitively is an option that would make my life easier, but then… disability? Getting disabled after facial surgery, now that is rich. Anyway, I can not say I am not thinking about it. It would be nice to just go through the surgeries without any worries about job, getting back to work or getting scolded by the employment office for being on sick leave for too long. So… well, I might get legally disabled for a while – about a year.

Thanks to the Gackt surprise yesterday, I forgot to share what happened to me lately. I visited the hospital and an orthodontist had a look at my palate and teeth (my ortho was somewhere away, I think some congress) and said everything was ok. Even if the halves of my palate are uneven and there is a 2mm step-off in the middle. She says they will correct it by fixed braces. The band that looked like it was slipping off my last molar seems to be ok to her and she says there is no way of preventing it from cutting my cheek. Great. I will just help myself as I did before, gah. When I said that the step-off in the middle of palate hurts, she poked it. OUCH! Then she took this dental hook that they use to probe teeth for cavities with and… I got all pale and was prepared to bite her fingers off if she tries to poke the palate and the bone, but she did not in the end. Anyway, no help from them, gah. I am sure it is some sort of rare complication as usually… and that as usually, they will find out too late. For some reason, I am somehow resigning to it.ย  I am really tired of it to be honest.

I also had a nightmarish experience this Wednesday. I went to help gran to bring some apples from her friend’s garden. I would not normally try to overstrain myself like that, but I just could not let the old lady carry them. Anyway, when we went there, the woman’s dog was running behind the fence and barking. I asked the woman if she could lock him in his kennel just for a while, explaining that I am after surgery and if he jumped at me or something, I might have serious problems. Gran said he wont do anything to me, but I was decided to not get in until he is away. That is when it happened. The old lady went to lock him, but he ran away from her and as my gran was telling me to go in, she left the gate open. The dog, a huge yellow mix of Irish wolfhound and something just a little smaller, ran out of the garden and… it attacked me. I have no idea why, maybe it felt that I feared it. Anyway, I just managed to scream and turn to the fence quickly and the next moment I had a huge creature on my back, growling, barking and baring it’s teeth. He did not bite me, but I got some nasty scratches from his claws. The worst was, his weight knocked me against the fence and gate. Only thanks to good luck, I did not smash my face against it. When they caught him and dragged him away, I was so scared I was shaking all over and could not calm down for a while. I remember saying something about “Fucking bloodthirsty beast”, lol. The lady said that the dog never ever attacked anyone before like this. I guess it is just my damn bad luck then.

Anyway, in the end, I am whole and so is my jaw. Nothing really serious happened to me. The next time any dog will try to do something similar, I will bite him too. Oh, damn… wait… I can not bite him with my upper jaw like this… hmm… ok, next time I will drop my jaw and use it to slice his throat open then, lol. Now that would be scary.

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Last few days have been quite uneventful. I went home (home as gran’s place in a tiny mountain village). The way home was quite tiring, so I am resting a lot and just healing.

The only thing that worries me isย  one of my bands. It seems that it is getting a little loose and I really hope it wont get loose sooner than I get to see my dentist this thursday, since I am more than 4 hours away with really bad bus/train connection.ย  The problems started tonight. I woke up in serious pain and realised I am clenching my teeth. Since they connect only on the place where this problematic band is located, I probably did something to it. The band reaches a little over my teeth, because they are very short vertically (thanks to my mutated gums, lol).

As I kept turning today (will there ever be end to the turning?), the tooth was very sore and the band looks like it is about to slip off the tooth, but not completely. More like the end of the band moved by about 1mm over the tooth’s top and stopped there. I am really worried that it might come off, but it looks like it is stuck there and almost like it was still properly glued… so I hope it can hold till thursday, or dare I say, even longer?!

I am not eating much, because my nerves are regenerating quite rapidly and I am getting more sensation. Which,ย  at this moment, means that my teeth are sore and my palate is sore and touchy as well. But painkillers are working, so they can block most of it.

I am quite glad I did not get the Disney job actually (even if I really wanted to get it and would accept if they offered it to me anytime), because it means more time for healing and getting better. I can also see some minor changes in my face – the mouth, a little more fulness, a little straighter nose and a little change in the cheek/eye area. I must say I quite like them. I hate my bite and my teeth at the moment, but that should be sorted once I get my braces in 2 months.

Have a fresh photo of me:

Ah, wait… I take that back. Forget it. That was my early morning before cafe photo taken by hidden camera… oh damn, now everyone knows.

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Ok, yesterday was a real nightmare that lasted till today’s morning. When my bf came home from work, I was sitting there and shaking, having some sort of shock from another microfracture of the palate. I do not know if I was more scared or in pain or just feeling like the most unlucky being ever, knowing that I feel a lot of pressure on another place of my palate and awaiting another “CRACK!” and everything that comes with it. I did not eat almost anything and could not drink much either after the second fracture forming. Also my cheek got swollen and my right eye hurt a lot.

Seriously, I thought I might die that night and told my bf to call my grandmother and best friend if something happened. Silly, I know. But then, I felt really miserable.

Bf came home and stayed by my bed till I went to sleep. I swallowed another painkillers and tried to sleep, but kept waking up. One of the reasons was the pain, another one was that I knew that another place of my palate will “loosen itself”(as the doc claims) and wanted it to happen while I am sleeping – so I was stressing myself a lot. I woke up at night about 20 times, maybe more. Also sleeping on my back and being scared to turn to the side, as I usually sleep, did not help.

I swallowed another painkiller at 5am and finally fell asleep, to be woken up by bf’s creepy alarm clock at 7am. (I swear I am gonna kill that guy one fateful morning!) I could not sleep anymore, but strangely enough, I could not feel any more pressure on my jaw and the pain was going away as well. Probably, the fracture formed sometime from 5am to 7am when I was sleeping and under Ibalgin. I am glad I did not have to hear another “Crack! Your skull is tearing, just relax… it is normal…” ๐Ÿ˜‰

I had a huge dilemma this morning, because I did not brush my teeth for one whole day and night and I should keep very strict oral hygiene, but then the first and biggest fracture came when I tried to rinse my mouth while cleaning my teeth, so I was quite scared to touch them. I knew the doc would scold me if I did not, so I at least brushed them a little, but stopped when it started to hurt.

I took bus and subway to the hospital (took 1 hour because of traffic jam) and got checked up. My doc teamed up with 2 younger doctors who seemed like her pupils and examined my mouth and teeth. She listened to my story about yesterday and saw the paper from the chief doctor (who is also one of my surgeons), but dismissed the idea with “No bones broke. It just does not happen. No bones ever broke in my patients, there is nothing that could break in there.” Ah, uh… yeah, right… I mean, ehm… ok then…

After a while, she agreed there could be some pressure on the bone and the bone could have loosened a little where they did not cut into the end and so the bone loosened till the end and… and… in other words, agreed that there probably are microfractures and the bone broke under the pressure. She said that they would not see anything on the x-ray and refused to do one. But since I feel way better today, I think it wont be necessary. I hope.

Now, my doctor is a scary woman, but she knows what she is doing (even if she has subtlety of a brick). The other 2 docs were probably even scarier in their own way – especially one of them, who examined my mouth and suggested another surgery consisting of bone breaking and another distraction, this time to gain length. My doc smiled at him and said “Yeah, right, this way we create a delightful cleft patient.” Sometimes I wonder, if these docs ever get to operate on anyone… I feel sorry for the poor poor bastard.

Anyway, she explained to them, that she will prepare my teeth for the next surgery using braces and elastics. Then she said we will need Bimaxillary surgery. Ehm… wait! Nobody told me about it! Till I started the treatment, they kept talking only about the upper jaw and Le Fort I advancement. Now… what a delightful news…

So, my plan changed quite drastically. I will need not only Le Fort I on the upper jaw, but also some sort of surgery on the lower one, that will change the angle of my lower jaw. The good part is, that I should not need genioplasty if they do this surgery, because it will turn my chin the right way. The bad is… damn it, both jaws broken and fixated by titanium plates, braces on both jaws for ages… not to mention the whole inside of my mouth full of incisions and swollen. Does not look like a small thing. I have been always scared of lower lip ptosis (my brother and mother suffer from them after their surgeries). I really hope I at least won’t have THAT complication.

Anyway, my screw was turned by my doc and it did not hurt much, so I suppose the bone(s) loosened the right way and it will stay like this with no more complications anymore.

By the way, while seeing my huge teeth with huge gap between them, I am getting a wicked idea about posing with a force cup (toilet plunge?) while screaming “DAAAA!” as a living Raving Rabbid ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes, I know it is silly. But it is not so delightfully crazy that one just has to do it? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Ok, today did not go well. Not at all.

I woke up at 9am to brush my teeth and turn the screw. I wanted to go to sleep a little more after, but things went terribly wrong.

As I was brushing my teeth, I felt sharp pain that came with something breaking inside of my mouth with the nasty “CRACK!” sound. The pain became even worse in few seconds and I could feel the inside of my palate move. A lot of pressure, a lot of pain.

I panicked.

At first, I thought the Hyrax broke or one of the rings around my teeth broke or for gods sake at least only a tooth broke…. but nothing of that happened and the pain and pressure did not cease.

I called my bf to work and gibbered something about something breaking and going to hospital, grabbed the few things I thought I might need if they needed to hospitalise me again and rushed to hospital (taking subway and bus, it took about 30 minutes) .

I contacted one of the nurses there and she sent me to chief doctor who was doing consultations in another part of hospital. I went there and was waiting for about 15-20 minutes, thinking that my bones broke and I will need another surgery. It was the worst time of my life.

He had a look at my palate and teeth and listened to my panicked description of the whole incident and then told me, that my bone broke, but that it happens sometimes. He explained, that after they perform the osteotomy, they leave your jaw held by about 4 places – under your nose (where it is flexible and stretches) and on the end of the jaw. The place on my right jaw broke. The pressure from Hyrax broke the bone there. Scary, is it not? But he says it is ok, they call it wing loosening, it happens sometimes, no big deal… right? *nervous twitch*

My fractureย ย  candarpain.JPG

To be honest, I am calmer, because I know nothing totally absolutely nasty happened, but then… I do not care if it is ok for the doctors! It is fracture! It hurts! It feels weird!

I did not even have an x-ray and they want me to keep turning the screw. Honestly, when he turned it in hospital (because I did not in the morning, obviously), I felt like crying by pain and now I have to do it myself?

Well, since it is getting late and I am 2 hours late with the turning, I will have to do it. Probably… god I am scared…

Anyway, I swallowed one of the painkillers he gave me to take regularly and am going to turn the damn medieval toruring machine in my mouth.

Wish me luck.

Update: After long hesitationg. I turned the screw. It did not hurt so much. Not the turning itself at least. I am drugged by Ibalgin 400mg and still feel pressure and a lot of pain where the bone is broken. Looks like what happened to me is not as common as my doctor said, but it is a rare minor(-ish?) complication. I suppose he tried to not scare me, since there is nothing he can do with it if I do not want to take the hyrax off, have the bone fixed and then undergo the surgery again. I found some articles about the pressure stressing of cranial base. They are a little difficult (at least for me, because English is not my native language), but give a lot of information that most doctors wont give you.

Stresses at the Cranial Base Induced by Rapid Maxillary Expansion

Complications during Mandibular Midline Distraction

I hope this helps anyone who would have to face any complication that he/she did not know about before.

As for now, I will just relax, drink some good tea, take my painkillers and be a good little soldier.

PS: Oh… and as an delightfull add to today’s misery, I just got my rejection letter from Disney. After month of preparations, writing my entry project that they liked, interviews and such, they choose someone else for the game designer job. Well, that’s life I suppose. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

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