Archive for the ‘reconstructive surgery’ Category

So, I got up at 6 am today and took buss from gran’s home to Prague. This weekend was really great. We were having some argues with my gran lately, mostly because she was nagging no matter what I did, which frustrated me a lot, but nothing like that happened this time. I think that the thing that helped the most was, that I took time and red a lot of articles and studies about old people and behaviour changes that come with old age. I learned how to avoid an argue and how to stop before she manages to stress me enough to snap. It works and I highly recomend reading sites about caring, especially advices for carers who have to manage caring and own life/daily job, to anyone, who could have similar problems.

Anyway, I made my last round around doctors today, getting my x-rays (oooh, my rib cage is sssooo pwetty!) and a spare asthma inhalator, just in case.

My blood tests are done, my examinations are done and summed up by my doctor, I have the x-rays , I have my CTs and teeth x-rays, the Hyrax is on. I am really hoping nothing gets wrong this time and the surgery will be performed as planned.

(Just a note: My teeth do not hurt at all anymore and I learned how to eat with the Hyrax. I can not eat anything hard though, because the metal bands are too close to my gums and if I chow anything harder, they will irritate the gums. Anyway, I magaged to eat a piece of chicken and enjoyed every second of it ;))

Now to the musing part.

Some of you (who red my posts on plastic surgery forums) , know, that I spent a lot of time thining about how I should look after my journey is at it’s end and fearing that I might end up with facial features that I might hate. As an abused child (yeah, I do not really want to talk about details much, ok? 😦 ), there are some facial features that I might have hard time to get used to – as they would bring bad memories every time I would see myself in the mirror.

A friend of mine once asked: “You love asia and your face is flat-ish anyway. Why do not ask your doctor to give you asian features?” She then explained that I might benefit from bigger high cheekbones, similar to what chinese or japanese women tend to have.

That was what triggered something in me. To be honest, if somebody asked me what beauty is, I would probably explain by showing them a picture of an asian person with lovely eyes, high cheekbones, full temples, full lips and nice small chin. All the traits I lack. I do not think I could manage something like that, still, that is where my perception of beauty lies. Silly, I know.

I never had the usual perception of beauty common to my friends. I never wanted to look like Spice girls clone, never wanted a tiny upturned nose (actually the thought scares me) or full round apple cheeks or whatever. But when I started to be interested in Japan and then lived there for a while, it just clicked. That was where my perception of beauty lied. In delicate harmonic faces – asian faces.

But then, how could I come to my doctor, who spends most of his time repairing really serious defects, to which are mine minor, and say “Hey, you know, how about asian cheekbones? Good idea, ne?” Damn, I do not even know if it is or isn’s a good idea, not to mention he would think that I am actually asking him to redo me to asian with the eyes and all.

Ok, I would love to have these features, but I can live without them just fine. The question is what all can I do with my face without going too far, looking silly or undergoing meaningless surgeries. I am used to look less than average and to be honest, almost anything will be improvement unless an accident happens (like accidentally dipping my head in a barel of acid, lol). Still, I would love to look more than just a little better and if I was able to plan these things, it would be great.

Anyway, if there was a machine that could just redo me to my liking, I would probably choose to look like someone similar to this person, even though he is male. (Damn, he looks 100% more feminine than me ;))

GacktGackt profile


Or maybe I would just become a manga character look-alike. I wish it was so easy…

Zack profile

Crisis Core Zack


Well, enough musing about such things. I need to pack my things and prepare for my stay in hospital, which should be about 5-7 days with the surgery on Friday morning (GMT time). This surgery will be the real start of my long run, so wish me luck.

Anyway, as an apology for my meaningless ranting, have a confused rabbid maid.

Rabbid maid

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Hello world! Your favourite pony is here!

I found out that I can chew on only one molar with the Hyrax on. Basically, anything that is not very soft or does not melt causes me problems (and onion rings and wakame seaweed from soup get stuck behind Hyrax, lol) . Sssooo, I have sinking suspicion that I am going to lose some weight in the next 3 and something months. Not that I mind 🙂

I am getting quite used to the appliance and except for eating and toothbrushing, it does not bother me much. If I think about it, I am really lucky that I will get this surgery and appliance as part of my condition’s treatment and covered by my insurance. Unfortunately, the braces after wont, but it should be ok, it is not so expensive and I will just not buy something else.

What bothers me a lot now is my work future. I still did not get answer from Disney if I will or will not get the job I want so much, so I am starting to get a little pessimistic. If I do not get this one… well, I might stay jobless untill I finish my treatment, which is quite long.
Why? Well, I am a trained assistant/manageress/translator and am aiming for this type of position. But at the moment, I do  not look representative enough and have speech problems caused by a piece of metal across my palate for few months now. (Unfortunately, the “representative behaviour and pleasing visage” tends to be a condition present in almost all job offerring adds for assistant/manageress work. )

Also I am taking care of my grandmother by visiting her every weekend (and any free days I happen to have) and help her. I could not possibly even think about stopping taking care of her because of job that would require more than five days a week. She does not want to move from the countryside where she has friends and spent a whole life, so I am doing the best I can to take care of her.

So, I think I will end doing some cleaning lady work or something like that, lol. Not that I did not do it before, when I was studying Uni or helping my gran with her part-time when I was a kid and she broke her arm. I just have this nagging feeling that I should be doing something for my career and am losing time here, which is quite annoying. Our country has high uneployment rate and getting a really good job can be a rat race. My ideal job would be either supportive position with a nice boss, or (even better) doing some creative work like writing, designing, finding fresh possibilities and aproaches… just using my head in any way possible (Zombie employers do not apply, I want to keep my brain for a while, thank you very much ;)).

So, I foresee that this is how I will look for the next 3-4 months:


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Ok, I got my Hyrax palatal expander attached yesterday. It did not hurt (except for some tiny problems with my supercrowded teeth) and it was much less scary than I thought it will be. It sits on my first and third molars, because they just could not fit the first model made for the first and second molars in no matter how my doc tried. So, she said I have a very special appliance made. Look, look, I am special! Mommy and doccy say I am special! *eats some glue*

Oh, speaking of glue. I made a great discovery: Tooth glue that hardens in the UV light tastes like… yeah, GLUE! Shocking, is it not? Anyway, I took few hours to get the taste out of my mouth. Listerine rinse helped a lot, so did multiple teeth cleaning with a lot of paste. And if I say a lot, I mean A LOT!

The appliance itself does not hurt at all. It has sort of metaly taste, but it is bearable. For some reason, I feel like a horse 😉 (Reins and bit anyone?) I had really hard time speaking few hours after I got it in, but it is almost ok now. The metal bridge of Hyrax lies on my tongue, so it is a little annoying, but as I said, not painful, not unbearable. *neighs a little*

As for eating, my doc says I can eat anything, but since my bite (crossbite, class III as well) is not fully closed thanks to the metal bands, I find it a little difficult. Also teeth are still very sensitive, so I am sticking with soft food and galons of hot chocolate 😉

Aaaanyway, surgery is planned for the 14th and I am entering hospital on 13th, so that is when I will stop posting for a while, but I will try to make some post-op pics and get back as soon as possible.

Now excuse me, I am going to watch Lexx and maybe play some games 😉

Edit: Here is my little metal baby (excuse the unladylike drool, lol):

Hyrax palatal expander

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