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Archive for the ‘Dreams’ Category

Ok, I met my friend from Japan and it seems that he is not against the idea of helping me with two of my crazy projects. The first one is still secret, but it is almost purely business oriented. I might start my own tiny company soon if things work out – as for now, it would be me full time and two part timers, one of them in Japan as our agent. The chance for success is small, but who knows… sometimes even a blind cat catches a mouse, right? Especially when it is armed with laser rifle and heat detection device… or has a vibro blade equipped mecha or… well, you get the point πŸ˜‰

The other crazy project is my movie script of course. My friend said he would help me translate it to Japanese, as their screenwriting formatting is different from European and American and could market it to few productions there. He also suggested me to write the main two characters as a double-role, but I do not like the idea. The main chars are so different it would be quite difficult to perform it believably, especially for a less experienced actor.

As for now, I am done with the outline more or less, so I started writing sort of synopsis. I have the main characters sketched, I have the world and it’s basic laws (yes, it is a normal modern world, just with something more behind what we, or the main char at the start, usually see). The story flows quite well. I can see, because I am getting flashes of scenes and dialogues, which I do not unless I am happy with the basics. I am also starting to sketch minor characters and some filler scenes.

This story is somehow difficult, because I want it to start as a comedy and then slowly shift to drama with an bittersweet end. I do not have any problem writing pure comedy or drama, but the crucial and most difficult part comes with merging them. It’s all about the timing and very accurate planning. The comedy can not just switch to drama quickly… and in the dramatic part, every piece of the comedial part must have a meaning and explanation. The “Oh, I see.. that is why they were doing it that way…” moment. I do not like useless gags. Also the comedial introduction of the characters must be long enough to make the viewer like the characters for what they are, but not bore them or keep them awake only on cliche’s. And once again, the transition must be slow building of the drama and smooth blurring from funny movie into something much much deeper.

Anyway, this story will be marketed directly to one special person in Japan (ok, ok, 2, but written with one in my mind as the main character) and I am writing the story and chars to fit them. At the start, I envisioned the person as one character, but it looks like he will fit the second one more, but I found out that if I change the start and POV a little, it works again as it should. (Oh, the drama… don’t I sound all secretive and dramatic and all just now? Give me a sec, I will don my dramatic satin cape and white half-mask. Oooohhh, the muuuuusic of the niiiiiight. Ehm… *cough cough *… forget it.)

I thought I would share at least something with you so here is one quote, which may, or may not be said during the ending. I hope you like it.

β€œAnd as I was lying in blood, life escaping out of my body together with my blood pouring on the cold surface of the street, I got the most expensive gift I could ever receive. A pair of ruby wings torn from the fragile body of a crying angel. My miracle.”

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So, I got up at 6 am today and took buss from gran’s home to Prague. This weekend was really great. We were having some argues with my gran lately, mostly because she was nagging no matter what I did, which frustrated me a lot, but nothing like that happened this time. I think that the thing that helped the most was, that I took time and red a lot of articles and studies about old people and behaviour changes that come with old age. I learned how to avoid an argue and how to stop before she manages to stress me enough to snap. It works and I highly recomend reading sites about caring, especially advices for carers who have to manage caring and own life/daily job, to anyone, who could have similar problems.

Anyway, I made my last round around doctors today, getting my x-rays (oooh, my rib cage is sssooo pwetty!) and a spare asthma inhalator, just in case.

My blood tests are done, my examinations are done and summed up by my doctor, I have the x-rays , I have my CTs and teeth x-rays, the Hyrax is on. I am really hoping nothing gets wrong this time and the surgery will be performed as planned.

(Just a note: My teeth do not hurt at all anymore and I learned how to eat with the Hyrax. I can not eat anything hard though, because the metal bands are too close to my gums and if I chow anything harder, they will irritate the gums. Anyway, I magaged to eat a piece of chicken and enjoyed every second of it ;))

Now to the musing part.

Some of you (who red my posts on plastic surgery forums) , know, that I spent a lot of time thining about how I should look after my journey is at it’s end and fearing that I might end up with facial features that I might hate. As an abused child (yeah, I do not really want to talk about details much, ok? 😦 ), there are some facial features that I might have hard time to get used to – as they would bring bad memories every time I would see myself in the mirror.

A friend of mine once asked: “You love asia and your face is flat-ish anyway. Why do not ask your doctor to give you asian features?” She then explained that I might benefit from bigger high cheekbones, similar to what chinese or japanese women tend to have.

That was what triggered something in me. To be honest, if somebody asked me what beauty is, I would probably explain by showing them a picture of an asian person with lovely eyes, high cheekbones, full temples, full lips and nice small chin. All the traits I lack. I do not think I could manage something like that, still, that is where my perception of beauty lies. Silly, I know.

I never had the usual perception of beauty common to my friends. I never wanted to look like Spice girls clone, never wanted a tiny upturned nose (actually the thought scares me) or full round apple cheeks or whatever. But when I started to be interested in Japan and then lived there for a while, it just clicked. That was where my perception of beauty lied. In delicate harmonic faces – asian faces.

But then, how could I come to my doctor, who spends most of his time repairing really serious defects, to which are mine minor, and say “Hey, you know, how about asian cheekbones? Good idea, ne?” Damn, I do not even know if it is or isn’s a good idea, not to mention he would think that I am actually asking him to redo me to asian with the eyes and all.

Ok, I would love to have these features, but I can live without them just fine. The question is what all can I do with my face without going too far, looking silly or undergoing meaningless surgeries. I am used to look less than average and to be honest, almost anything will be improvement unless an accident happens (like accidentally dipping my head in a barel of acid, lol). Still, I would love to look more than just a little better and if I was able to plan these things, it would be great.

Anyway, if there was a machine that could just redo me to my liking, I would probably choose to look like someone similar to this person, even though he is male. (Damn, he looks 100% more feminine than me ;))

GacktGackt profile

Gackt

Or maybe I would just become a manga character look-alike. I wish it was so easy…

Zack profile

Crisis Core Zack

Aerith

Well, enough musing about such things. I need to pack my things and prepare for my stay in hospital, which should be about 5-7 days with the surgery on Friday morning (GMT time). This surgery will be the real start of my long run, so wish me luck.

Anyway, as an apology for my meaningless ranting, have a confused rabbid maid.

Rabbid maid

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A really weird dream

Ok, I had a really really weird dream tonight.

It started as me being a favourite cat (gliding cat, I could spread skinfolds between my paws and glide on it like these gliding squirrels) of a dark evil queen. The queen was fighting heroes who came to reap her throne from her and I was stuck between helping them, so they will not be killed and helping the queen, because she was not really so terribly bad as everyone thought.

After a while, I helped some heroes escape and gained human form while doing it, so I could not go back to the castle. We were running away and appeared in a park in the middle of Prague. It was completely empty and white, there was a snowstorm coming. I heard the sound of hooves and people from Lord of the Rings appeared. I think it was Aragorn, Gandalf and some rohan horsemen. Aragorn seemed to be one of the heroes I saved from the queen.

We decided that we must get fine horses. Gandalf called for Shadowfax, who appeared in the form of unicorn, and I wanted to ride it, but Aragorn was quicker. I was really upset and just took one of the rohan horses (yellowish horse with grey saddle). We rode up across the park, but were stopped by hungry Wargs. Horses went mad and ran away, so we just stood there.

Then we heard the sound of jinglebells and Santa Claus appeared on a slide (sleigh?). We stole it, telling him to catch and take one of our runaway horses. I somehow managed to catch one of the Wargs and attached it to the slide like a horse. Aragorn wanted to take the reins, but I told him “You had your shadowfax, I have my warg. Now give me the reins or get out!” and took them from him, lol.

We were sliding down the park again and my friend appeared to be in the slide as well. I asked her, if he have brakes and she answered “Yes!” and pulled on them. We immediately crashed and I think knocked the warg unconscious or killed it. I was really mad… and then my alarm saved me from this obscurity πŸ˜‰

Now… I really feel weird πŸ˜‰

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