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Archive for October, 2007

Ok, after 2 years of writer’s block, I finally forced myself to start working on my fantasy book again. Yesterday, I managed to re-read all about 500 pages of the story and am getting back to it. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about the stupidity of some scenes as I grew out of the style I used to use, but some surprise me with their geniality, lol. Anyway, thanks to the latter, I feel that I can continue writing it if I edit some parts.

The annoying thing is that I am always very tired, probably because I do not eat much thanks to my lovely aching teeth, and just want to rest instead of doing something meaningful. But then, since this might be my last long time without stable fulltime job, I should really do whatever I can with the damn book, so I can finally get it published. I have one publisher interested in it already, but I would like to try one of the big houses. I can manage it if the book is a top class one, so wish me luck, lots of coffee and little distractio… LOOK! A BUNNY! 😉

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Just a short post. I am almost 1 month post op, so here are my photos. I am still somehow swollen, my mouth seems asymetric due to the nasty openbite and gap between teeth, but I think there are some improvements already. Unfortunately, my acne came back, gah!

But the biggest improvement is… I CAN BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE WITH NO PROBLEMS, YAY!!!

Profile before

Profile after

Front view before

Front view after

Smile before

Smile after

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I was visiting my doctor today. She checked me up and we had a long talk about my close future. Obviously, she got papers from the hospital and they were really long detailed ones. We talked about the whole surgical plan and about my other 2 (actually maybe 3 :() planned surgeries.

I am currently jobless and in a way, I love it, because I do not have to hurry and overstrain myself at work, but I feel that I should be doing something for my career. There is so much I would like to archieve.

But going to an interview is not an option for me. I can not speak properly, I look horribly, not to mention I can not carry heavy things or overstrain myself. So I can not do a job I am qualified for, I can not do jobs that require manual work… and going to interviews for editor/writer position will be of no use, because honestly, noone finds a seriously lisping creature with a huge gap between her teeth and un-closable mouth a perfect colleague, lol. And then there is the pain – normally it is ok, but I am still having some bad moments. (But hey, I can at least breathe through my nose without problems! Hire me? Please? Pretty please?)

I am now on some sort of sick leave after the surgery, but my doctor told me, that I could have problems with the employment office where I am registered, if she leaves me at the sick leave too long. Honestly. Does it have any sense to take a job, if I am 100% sure I have to go to doctors every now and then? (My next visit is in 14 days, but when braced and starting the preparation for 2nd surgery, I will be there at least once a week which usually takes few hours) Not to mention I am sure I will be on sick leave again after the surgery. My health is a funny thing – I heal quite well, but I keep getting rare complications. Honestly, if I grew frog’s legs or rhino horn after my next surgery, I would not be surprised, lol.

So, my doctor things I should ask for a sort of disability pension until the surgeries are done. She says I am in such a state, that it should be possible. Honestly… I do not know. It definitively is an option that would make my life easier, but then… disability? Getting disabled after facial surgery, now that is rich. Anyway, I can not say I am not thinking about it. It would be nice to just go through the surgeries without any worries about job, getting back to work or getting scolded by the employment office for being on sick leave for too long. So… well, I might get legally disabled for a while – about a year.

Thanks to the Gackt surprise yesterday, I forgot to share what happened to me lately. I visited the hospital and an orthodontist had a look at my palate and teeth (my ortho was somewhere away, I think some congress) and said everything was ok. Even if the halves of my palate are uneven and there is a 2mm step-off in the middle. She says they will correct it by fixed braces. The band that looked like it was slipping off my last molar seems to be ok to her and she says there is no way of preventing it from cutting my cheek. Great. I will just help myself as I did before, gah. When I said that the step-off in the middle of palate hurts, she poked it. OUCH! Then she took this dental hook that they use to probe teeth for cavities with and… I got all pale and was prepared to bite her fingers off if she tries to poke the palate and the bone, but she did not in the end. Anyway, no help from them, gah. I am sure it is some sort of rare complication as usually… and that as usually, they will find out too late. For some reason, I am somehow resigning to it.  I am really tired of it to be honest.

I also had a nightmarish experience this Wednesday. I went to help gran to bring some apples from her friend’s garden. I would not normally try to overstrain myself like that, but I just could not let the old lady carry them. Anyway, when we went there, the woman’s dog was running behind the fence and barking. I asked the woman if she could lock him in his kennel just for a while, explaining that I am after surgery and if he jumped at me or something, I might have serious problems. Gran said he wont do anything to me, but I was decided to not get in until he is away. That is when it happened. The old lady went to lock him, but he ran away from her and as my gran was telling me to go in, she left the gate open. The dog, a huge yellow mix of Irish wolfhound and something just a little smaller, ran out of the garden and… it attacked me. I have no idea why, maybe it felt that I feared it. Anyway, I just managed to scream and turn to the fence quickly and the next moment I had a huge creature on my back, growling, barking and baring it’s teeth. He did not bite me, but I got some nasty scratches from his claws. The worst was, his weight knocked me against the fence and gate. Only thanks to good luck, I did not smash my face against it. When they caught him and dragged him away, I was so scared I was shaking all over and could not calm down for a while. I remember saying something about “Fucking bloodthirsty beast”, lol. The lady said that the dog never ever attacked anyone before like this. I guess it is just my damn bad luck then.

Anyway, in the end, I am whole and so is my jaw. Nothing really serious happened to me. The next time any dog will try to do something similar, I will bite him too. Oh, damn… wait… I can not bite him with my upper jaw like this… hmm… ok, next time I will drop my jaw and use it to slice his throat open then, lol. Now that would be scary.

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Ok, some of you know I am a huge fan of Gackt.

Now, today, my best friend called me and told me, that Gackt has been in Prague. He shot photos for his calendar there. Gyah! He visited Prague and I have not been there! Now I wish I knew earlier, but it was probably some top secret action, because nobody had the info till now.

For some reason, I am really upset. When I was an exchange student in Japan, I probably lived about a block away from him and did not know till the last week or so. Now, he comes to my city and guess what? Yeah, I had no idea. >___<

I think I do not have to mention, that I would give almost anything to meet him in person, right?

Anyway, have a photo of Gackt in Prague. Now if you excuse me, I am gonna find that spot by the river, buy it and build a shrine there, lol.

Gackt in Prague

Gackt callendar 2008

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Ok, I am being really nervous here. The missbehaving band is still on, which is good, but my Hyrax is troubling me. I should have 7mm screw in it, that turns 0,2 mm every turn. Ooook… now, I turned it 37 times. Yes, that means 7,4 mm in total. I am really worried about this and so I kept thinking the whole day if I should or should not keep turning (some call it cranking?).

Just a minute ago, I decided I wont even try to turn it any further. I am worried that the screw could be a mallfunctioning one without the proper safety stop (yes, maybe I am just paranoid), so I wont try to dare my luck and get another “rare complication”.

Now when I think about it… I am a walking rare complication museum for my whole life, lol. Maybe I should charge for entrance. Wait… nah, that would make me a prostitute 😉

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Last few days have been quite uneventful. I went home (home as gran’s place in a tiny mountain village). The way home was quite tiring, so I am resting a lot and just healing.

The only thing that worries me is  one of my bands. It seems that it is getting a little loose and I really hope it wont get loose sooner than I get to see my dentist this thursday, since I am more than 4 hours away with really bad bus/train connection.  The problems started tonight. I woke up in serious pain and realised I am clenching my teeth. Since they connect only on the place where this problematic band is located, I probably did something to it. The band reaches a little over my teeth, because they are very short vertically (thanks to my mutated gums, lol).

As I kept turning today (will there ever be end to the turning?), the tooth was very sore and the band looks like it is about to slip off the tooth, but not completely. More like the end of the band moved by about 1mm over the tooth’s top and stopped there. I am really worried that it might come off, but it looks like it is stuck there and almost like it was still properly glued… so I hope it can hold till thursday, or dare I say, even longer?!

I am not eating much, because my nerves are regenerating quite rapidly and I am getting more sensation. Which,  at this moment, means that my teeth are sore and my palate is sore and touchy as well. But painkillers are working, so they can block most of it.

I am quite glad I did not get the Disney job actually (even if I really wanted to get it and would accept if they offered it to me anytime), because it means more time for healing and getting better. I can also see some minor changes in my face – the mouth, a little more fulness, a little straighter nose and a little change in the cheek/eye area. I must say I quite like them. I hate my bite and my teeth at the moment, but that should be sorted once I get my braces in 2 months.

Have a fresh photo of me:

Ah, wait… I take that back. Forget it. That was my early morning before cafe photo taken by hidden camera… oh damn, now everyone knows.

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